let it go.

I have a feeling I am going to get fired. I need to start updating this more. I have just been so busy that im lucky if i get in bed before one o'clock.
WAIT!
i know... you are probably thinking, "psh...i stay up till six" well... my friends, I am a sleeper. I can not function without my sleep, it is apart of my healthy routine. and since i have three days to where i have to be at class at eight am...well that is early.
im not a normal college student. ok? i get this already.
have you noticed...its snowing. i noticed because i got up to go to class and couldn't get out of my driveway basically.
literally slid into my neighbor's yard..
yeah...sorry about that.
its actually quite frustrating. i am sick of the snow. i dont care if you like it. i dont care if it tastes good on your tongue, or its just eversoromantic to kiss in.
its cold. when it touches you its wet. thus resulting in making you cold, and to top it off you are usually stuck. like me. at home.
yes snow is pretty.
but how about just one day a year huh? then sunshine city. thats what im talkin bout.

honestly my last two weeks have been just ridiculously stressful. my poison ivy kept me up basically all week last week, i was basically forced to go to the walk in clinic and get a horrid shot injected into my bum. i still kind of have it... i refuse to take the steroid to get rid of it.
re. fus.e.

i was looking at some discussion boards online where people get sick and then post on it and then a lot of people post back a remedy or a way that sick person can get help.
i noticed one post said something along the lines of,"dont go to the doctor! all they will do is soak your insides up with antibiotics and it will ruin your immune system" it made me laugh. giggle. chuckle. whatever you do. it was funny. because it is so right. i have been to the doctors before and the woman didn't even seem to care. she just wanted to get off work. she barely even "checked" me out. she just rolled her eyes and then shoved a piece of paper in my mouth.
i unwadded the wet paper from my mouth to see it was a prescription for an antibiotic.
HA! no way jose! haha.
thats JOE SAY by the way. not HOES SAY..what? haha.

ANYWAYS. after the shot though i was feeling a lot better and got a good nights sleep that night.
sleep is so great.
and i was able to pay full attention in class again, which was good.
i love my english lit class. my notes are so cool.
i mean... you know your notes are cool when they say things such as:
"liberates the mind..."
I have learned a lot in this class, and I am so excited to get involved deeper into my major.
im seriously a little child who received a pony... not a sucker... i mean suckers were nice but im talking PONY!
this is definitely my pony.

I am kind of irritated too, because i dont get to go see my elderly folk today. i miss them terribly. they always make me smile. there is one woman in particular, and i love her to death. she fancies reading a lot, just like me. She is almost 100, and what is so cute is how she lives her life through these books.
literally. when we talk... she tells me stories about her life... only its not really her life... its the life of the characters in her books.

and it makes me smile. not a "your crazy" smile, but a genuine smile. because thats going to be me when im older. sometimes you just dont want to stay in this life. i mean... call it stupid but i have honestly lived my life by the song "Ghost of Corporate Future" by Regina Spektor. I heard it my eighth grade year, and have lived it since.
it says... "never ever watch the ten o'clock news"
now... dont get me wrong, I have also learned that it is good to be informed and involved. I learned this through the Bonner program. you can't help...if you do not know what needs helping.
But honestly... think about it.
all the ...crap... that is on the news now... its depressing. and there are times where i will get so mad i just turn the tv off...and go read.
because i do read to escape.
however wrong it may be to some people... you do your petty drug... i'll stick with my imagination.
the song also says, "cause people are just people they shouldn't make you nervous. the world is everlasting put dirtballs in your pocket" dont make fun.
this is so real.
ever notice how people can get SO intimidated by other people...
i mean... yeah... that particular professor might just be down right scary... but he/she is a person too.
caitlin's urbandictionary of a person-someone who goes through struggles just like you. someone who has feelings too.
a someone. just like you.

never forget that.
it could make a difference.

i notice that i usually have really scattered blogs... and for that i am major sorry. i guess my mind just gets going...and then BAM.
theres basically a bunch of scribble scrabble on the page.
thats my mind for you i suppose.

oh. and not that you can notice on here. but i got a hair cut. i woke up friday morning and said, "you know what... you look boring. lets change something"

"maybe you should cut your own hair cause that would be so funny. it doesn't cost any money and it always grows back. hair grows even after your dead."
-Regina.Spektor.